I’ve been flexing all my life…

One day you just look around and you go, “I’m almost 40 years old, life is passing me by, retirement is creeping up, inflation is real and if I don’t get my shit together I’m going to be on the street at 60!”, right? Okay, maybe not you or maybe not that dramatic, but let’s face it financial literacy is a real life necessity. For me, this is my new slap in the face reality and where my journey begins. Where in the world do I start? Let me mention, it’s not as simple as work and save your money. No, for me, my journey has several moving parts. So let me tell you a little about me.

I’m all over the place! I left my kinda cushy job about two years ago and by the grace of God, I am still over here making it. I’m making it in house with $1300 mortgage, bills, a kid, a paid off car approaching 300k miles and a dream. Yes, my dream, like so many others is to have money and chill. I want be an Atlanta Housewives kind of stable. You know how they work on what they like to bring in income and still have time to travel, eat out, dress nice, blah blah blah. Yes, I want all that and for me it is just a dream. Now let me clarify something real quick! I do not think with more money, there are less problems, nor do I assume that anyone who has money knows exactly what to do to manage it. So, yes I am aware there are broke/rich people existing in the same body. Where many people get it wrong is making rich equivalent to having financial freedom. The latter is the most important of the two, so I’ll take that. I’ll take that to be comfortable to do the things I love without fear of falling in to debt and risking the small things I have built so far. To do this, I need knowledge. How will I catch up? “Girl, there is no catching up. You focus on yourself and build from there to where you would like to be personally”, I remind myself everyday. I’ve set a goal.

Work. See, because I have decided to set my life around the things I would like to do, I have made a huge sacrifice to allow myself to be pushed to the point of no return. So, I currently do what I need to do to make ends meet. I work from home, I braid hair, I substitute teach, and recently just left a daycare (we’ll talk about that later). This might make some folks mad to the point where they ask why. Why is because, I am already certain of what I do not want to every day! I do not desire to go to a job in confinement for 8-10 hours, sit in Atlanta traffic, make arrangements for my daughter after school each day, and get home late too tired to find my own talents, only to wake up the next day to do it all again. So, I do what I need to do until it starts to get easier! Besides, I’ve added all the expenses for working to just being more money spent…approximately $250 a week/$1000 a month. So if I make $3500/month, $1000 is already gone just getting back and forth to work. Nah, I’ll just figure it out from the house. I will tell you though, it has been a mental struggle this far, but I honestly think if its not this then it would be something else. For now, I will still take this one stress over all the other stresses of life. I’ve combined all my stress down to one category. Money: Money management. Financial Literacy.

Yup, I’ve decided I’d rather not be stressed about anything else in my life besides that. I cut that whole boyfriend situation about a year ago. Unwanted stress. I realize that in order for this process to work and me to find all that inner stuff, I could not be held responsible to neither answering to anyone else nor trying to create time and emotional space to deal with someone. Yes, I am single, not ready to mingle at all! What is so wrong about that? I’ve got a long way to go which comes with a lot of healing and self discovery. Seriously, I’ve been flexing all my life focused on things that have not made me a better me, just added to my confusion, irresponsibility and lack of self reliance. So, here I am rebuilding it all.

There you have it. I’m broke and I don’t want to be anymore. I’m learning how to do a lot with a little, or a little with a little whichever makes more financial sense. I want the freedom to move how I like, and I’m going to tough it out until it gets easier. This is the story of “Blackgirlbroke”. Stay tuned!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s